I'm gonna have a badass scar
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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