So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
