So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
