I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
