WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
