I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
