Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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