just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
