remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
