Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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