my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize