try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
