Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
