I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
