I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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