Whats the glycemic index on semen?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
