Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
