one two three fourrrrnication!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
