The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Randomize
