I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
