come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
