is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
