Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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