She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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