She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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