The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
