how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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