I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You did what with his pubic hair?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
