I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
