I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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