So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize