eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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