Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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