So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
