Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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