two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
