smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
