There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize