how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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