For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So vagazzling was a success
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
