did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
