god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
