dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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