he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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