someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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