WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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