O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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