It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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