So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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