there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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