Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.