No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat