And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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