I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
did i just pee glitter
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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