So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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