Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize