This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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