...so i touched it.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
