I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
A+ Viking dick
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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