I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
