i don't like sucking hair
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
