my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
