i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You made out with two different species that night
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
