Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
